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How hide your sex toys and order them discreetly

vibrator in a filing cabinet
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You came here because you want to know how to hide your sex toys. Maybe you also want to know the best way to get sex toys delivered to your home without your parents, roommates or children knowing. I’ll be helping you learn how to hide sex toys and get them delivered to your door without anyone finding out what you’re really up to.

This article is sponsored by HappyBed.com. They happen to have a James Bond style way of getting sex toys through your door, past your family/friends and into your bedroom. More on that later on in the article – click here to go there first.

This article may contain affiliate links, using them supports this blog so thank you to everyone helping me out in that respect!

In this article I’m going to be teaching you all about how to hide your sex toys and how to use them discreetly. We will also explore how to order them in the first place via discreet shipping options online. If you are looking to order your sex toys online (rather than at a physical store), please do not skip the section on internet privacy and security.

I will be mentioning specific and popular toys throughout this article. I recommend you read the entire article if you have time. Even if you don’t have a penis, reading the “how to hide your Fleshlight” section might be useful because I mention important considerations about drying times and you may well end up buying a vagina/anal toy that is the size of a Fleshlight. Likewise vibrators now come for penises, so don’t skip the vibrator sections if you plan to buy one. I’ve split up the sections of this page in the way I have to help people who need quick answers.

1 – Don’t be ashamed of your sex toys

The most important thing to say before we hide anything and begin behaving in secretive ways is that you should never be ashamed of your sex toys. We live in an imperfect World and some people just don’t have the capacity to appreciate how amazing it is to have a collection of dildos, vibrators and pocket pussies. Perhaps your parents are religious, maybe your friends are lame and find making dumb jokes about sex funny. It doesn’t matter. You may love them and they may be nice people but in this specific circumstance they are completely wrong.

If you are old enough to buy sex toys and watch (legal) porn in your country, you should use both without feeling any kind of guilt. You will take many steps to stop people discovering your sex toys, from finding your lube stains and you will even prevent them from checking your online activity. Yet do NOT feel bad for having to hide all of this. It isn’t your fault that it is necessary to hide your tracks.


2 – Internet privacy: hiding your sex toy shopping tracks

Online Privacy Tools
Encrypted services and VPNs = privacy.

You may be planning on buying sex toys online, which is an ever more popular way of shopping. A problem you may have is that your internet activity can be tracked by people in your household and by your internet service provider. If you need to hide your online activity from your housemates or nosey family members, I am well placed to advise you on some solutions… because I’ve reviewed a lot of privacy tools!

Use a VPN to order sex toys online

Sometimes, family members or housemates can find out about your internet history through your ISP (internet service provider). In many countries, all they need to do is call the ISP and ask for a list of all of the websites visited from their household. Sometimes members of your house may have a firewall on the internet router itself that collects data. In both cases, a good VPN service can completely hide your activity.

When you install a VPN service to your computer or device, it sends your internet traffic through an encrypted tunnel. If that sounds complicated, just know that it means neither your ISP or software on your router can see what you are doing. The ISP and router still knows how much data is being transferred but it won’t be able to understand what that data is or where it comes from. Therefore if you need to order sex toys from an online shop without your house mates / family knowing, it is imperative that you get a VPN service to do that.

Don’t use free VPN services. They are bad quality and some steal your person data. I use a premium service called ExpressVPN and reviewed it on this website. NordVPN is another company I and many others trust (I’m actually testing this VPN service at the moment).

Visit ExpressVPN’s Website Visit Nord VPN’s Website

Use encrypted email and file lockers for your sex toy receipts

If you are worried about your housemates / family finding online sex toy receipts through your email, you could consider setting up a new email address just for doing that. Protonmail is a very good service that provides an encrypted inbox. Another way to keep your online sex toy receipts safe is to download the email itself and lock it inside an encrypted container on your computer. You can use free programs like Veracrypt to do this and encrypted password managers like Bitwarden have storage options for you to upload files.

Visit Protonmail’s website

Alternatively you can get encrypted cloud storage, which will ensure your encrypted data is saved should you suffer a hard drive failure. A good service I use is called Tresorit. PCloud and Sync.com also provide encrypted cloud storage (with PCloud you need to buy the Crypto Vault as an extra). I’ve reviewed all of those services on this website.

3 – Ordering sex toys online and getting them delivered discreetly

If you want the most discreet delivery possible, you should use HappyBed.com. They have a spytastic way to get your sex toys to you. Before I get to their service though, I want to warn you about a bad idea that many people have regarding ordering sex toys online.

Don’t use Amazon, Ebay or AliExpress

It may be tempting to use Amazon because of the ability to get products delivered to lockers but NEVER use Amazon to buy sex toys. It is dangerous and you can end up with toxic as well as bad quality sex toys from obscure companies that don’t care about your safety. It’s not even safe to buy big brand name sex toys on Amazon, because they store everything in the same storage locations at their warehouse, so you can easily end up with a knockoff product (it has been reported in the past). Ebay and AliExpress are bad for sex toys for similar reasons.

Plain packaging and obscure company names

All of the sex toy companies I support use plain cardboard boxes and have obscure company names printed on their delivery labels. Anyone picking up such boxes won’t be able to tell what is inside. Not unless they Google the obscure company name. The problem with this of course is if your house mates, neighbours or parents accidentally open the outer box and discover your sex toys inside. I know there are many of you with invasive parents who will open packages destined for their children on purpose, so plain delivery boxes might not be enough for you. I had a neighbour once that opened a package of mine by mistake and found out that I’d ordered 400 condoms. Personally I just laughed it off but I know some of you wouldn’t like to experience the same.

HappyBed: The most Discreet sex toy shipping on the internet

happy bed discrete shipping plus
Example of HappyBed’s Discreet Shipping Plus. Your sex toy will be sealed inside the Power Bank box.

Luckily for those of you who need an extra layer of privacy and protection, there is a shop called HappyBed operating in the United States. HappyBed has a top secret way of delivering your sex toys to you and they call it “Discreet Shipping Plus”. It’s the most discreet form of shipping available on the internet… like I said, spytastic. As well as packaging your sex toy inside a plain cardboard delivery box with an inconspicuous company name, HappyBed hides your toy again inside another box, just in case anyone opens the outer box by accident (or on purpose). Anyone who opens the plain cardboard box will find a cell-phone accessory box.

Making it look like you ordered a cell-phone accessory instead of a sex toy

happy bed cell phone accessory box
Your sex toy is contained in two boxes with discreet shipping plus… the outer plain cardboard box and this inner cell-phone accessory box.

The inner box of HappyBed’s Discreet Shipping Plus means your sex toys will be boxed inside of innocent looking cell phone accessory product boxes. So if your parents demand to see inside your box, you can open it up and they’ll simply see a product that looks like a cell phone accessory (such as a power-bank for example). To read more about this extra layer of delivery privacy, read about HappyBed’s “Discreet Shipping Plus” on their website here.

happy bed cell phone box seal
HappyBed seals the cell-phone accessory box too. (Click to enlarge)

The cell-phone accessory box that HappyBed puts your sex toy inside of is sealed, so unless you have really really invasive housemate… they aren’t going to be able to simply open the box and then close it again without you realising.

happy bed regular discrete shipping
Example of HappyBed’s regular discreet shipping (with just the plain outer box).

Most of HappyBed’s highly curated range of sex toys fits inside their Discreet Shipping Plus boxes. There are just a few larger products that are too big to use the Discreet Shipping Plus option. For those products (or if you don’t order the discreet plus option, you will get the regular discreet delivery. Regular discreet delivery means that your toy will be delivered in a plain cardboard box with an inoffensive company name on the outside. The only difference is that you won’t get the cell-phone accessory box inside with the regular discreet delivery. It’s still a safe option for most people though.

HappyBed’s cell-phone accessory is a good place to continue hiding your sex toy

happy bed hiding sex toys
The cell-phone box is a good place to continue hiding the sex toy you buy from HappyBed.

The additional bonus to having your sex toy delivered to you by HappyBed with Discreet Shipping Plus, is that you can continue using the cell-phone accessory box when hiding the sex toy in your home. In fact, I think it’s worth having the Discreet Shipping Plus for this reason alone. It’s just a little extra peace of mind and makes hiding the sex toy easier.

To be honest, if I saw a cell phone accessory box sitting somewhere in my family’s home, I would never bother opening it because cell-phone accessory boxes are boring. Ex-burglars (thieves) also say similar things about what they consider good hiding places. I remember watching an ex-thief once say that the best place to put precious jewellery isn’t in a safe but at the bottom of a box of cereal. Such a boring and typical object is going to be ignored by most people.

HappyBed heavily curates their selection of sex toys

While not directly relevant to privacy, you should also know that HappyBed takes a firm stand on sex toy safety and materials. They only stock sex toys that are body safe, which means you never have to worry about toxic materials with HappyBed. As well as that, you know that any sex toy you order from HappyBed is going to be high quality because they go to great lengths to make sure they only stock the best sex toys available. While some sex toy stores stock hundreds of mediocre sex toys, HappyBed stocks only a few of the very best. That makes choosing a good sex toy way easier.

HappyBed’s Spytastic, Rapid-Fire Shipping

HappyBed is currently shipping to the United States, so if you live there then you should consider using them. They are currently the only online sex toy shop that offer the additional level of privacy, Discreet Shipping Plus.

The other reason HappyBed is privacy friendly is that they own their own warehouse, with their own employees. Your sex toys are packaged by HappyBed personally before the package is sent through one of their trusted delivery companies (who won’t have access to your personal details or what you ordered). Other companies such as those who work through Amazon pass your details along to external companies for them to ‘fulfil’ and package your order. That kind of thing is a nightmare for privacy, so again I really appreciate what HappyBed is doing with their packaging and shipping process. Them owning it all means that your personal data is safer.

As well as being a very privacy friendly option, HappyBed’s shipping is also fast. They do free 2 day delivery to the most populous states in the USA and for other states it still only takes 3 days. Fast shipping means that it’s easy for you to plan your deliveries. So if you know your parents or roommates are away from home for a week or two, you know HappyBed can get your sex toys to you discreetly and quickly.

Go to HappyBed

4 – How to hide sex toys from kids

Kids are smarter and more devious than a lot of people like to admit. If you don’t hide your sex toys well, they will find them and they may tell their friends. I had a friend who ratted on his parents about their bondage collection and vhs porn videos for example. Pretty horrendous betrayal there.

Now of course it depends on the ages of these kids. If your kids are very young, you absolutely must keep all of your sex toys hidden away and out of sight. When your kids are closer to 16 or 18 it’s going to be more difficult for you to keep things hidden. At least at that age they’re going to be mature enough to understand it, though it’s still preferable for them not to find your fantasy dildo or your “pussy in a Flashlight”.

hiding sex toys high up
Hiding sex toys from small children is easy. Just put them very high up where they can’t reach.

Hiding sex toys from smaller kids is a bit easier. Store your sex toys up somewhere high enough where they won’t be able to reach them. If you don’t have anywhere high to put them, you could store them under your bed in a locked container (more on locked containers later). The obvious additional step you’ll need to take with that is making sure your nosey kids are never able to get their hands on your key (or guess the code if it’s one of those spinning locks). If your kids see a locked container, they will want to find out what is inside it. They’ll probably even ask you about it, so having your toy inside a HappyBed cell-phone box is useful for such a situation “see look how boring this mystery box is”.

hiding sex toys in drawers
This is a bad hiding place and you’ll get busted if you put your sex toys there (pants drawer).

What you should avoid, is simply keeping your sex toys in your bedside drawer or in a cupboard / wardrobe. You may not like it but your nosey kids are going to open those cupboards, drawers and wardrobes when you aren’t looking. I looked through all my parent’s crap when I was young. Luckily for me, I never found anything too alarming. My dad was really bad at hiding his porn though… Never hide things under your bed if those things aren’t locked. Your kids will look and they will find them.

I have some pretty creative ways for you to hide sex toys further on in the article. If you want to skip there now, click here.. though the next few lessons are probably going to be useful for you too.

5 – How to use vibrators discreetly

We-Vibe Moxie remote control Pantie Vibrator
We-Vibe Moxie panty vibrator.

Vibrators are wonderful. They come in all kinds of forms. Before we talk about where to hide vibrators, let’s talk about the noise they make and the importance of travel locks. Because unless you can stop the people hearing that buzzing sound, they’re going to guess something is up no matter how well you hide your vibrator.

Vibration = Noise: How to mask the sound of a vibrator?

Some vibrators can be really damn noisy. My girlfriend Eve is quite the ninja with hers though. Quite often she sneaks into view proclaiming to me that she just had a fantastic love affair with one of her vibrators in the next room. I NEVER hear her. Eve is French, so I’m going translate the advice she passed onto me for this article.

The first thing you need to do is pick a reasonably quiet vibrator. None of them are whisper quiet, so don’t listen to all that goofy marketing. Vibrators vibrate and vibrations make sound. Just pick one that doesn’t sound like a motorbike and you’ll be starting out on a good foot. Most toy reviewers (Eve and I included) usually mention how loud a vibrator is in their reviews. Usually if the sound is not mentioned by a sex toy reviewer, that means they didn’t really have a problem with it. Be careful though because sometimes people just forget to mention it, that happens too. If I’ve ever reviewed any vibrator that I didn’t mention the sound of, reach out to me via my contact form and I’ll let you know about the toy’s sound.

Eve says that it doesn’t really make a difference whether a vibrator is deep and rumbly or buzzy and bright. What really matters is how well it was engineered for the purpose of minimising sound. Good quality vibrators aren’t necessarily quiet. For example I love the Pulse Duo Lux (a penis vibrator) but it sounds like a motor boat. We-Vibe tend to do quieter vibration motors and Womanizer sucking toys tend to have good technology to detect when there is and isn’t skin contact.

Eve tells me that her favourite way to reduce the noise of her vibrators is to squeeze them between her thighs. Or if it’s a smaller clit vibrator, she holds it with a firm hand and that minimises the vibration a bit too. She often puts an extra pillow underneath her because that helps absorb noise as well.

To be fair, I’m at a disadvantage to Eve and could never be as much of a vibrator Ninja as she is. Penis vibrators are external, so they often make more noise than internal vibrators. When a vibrator is inside you, your body absorbs some of the noise. That’s also the case with body contact, which is why it is so good that some clit suckers like the We-Vibe Melt turn off when you take them away from your body.

Bathtub + Vibrator = Louder Vibrator

Eve is an expert, so this rule doesn’t apply to her but if you are just starting out, do NOT use your vibrator in the bath for the first time until no-one is home. I never hear Eve when she has her bathroom love affairs. I don’t know how she does it. Yet when I use penis vibrators in the bath (yes they exist in waterproof models too), the bathtub amplifies the sound of the vibrator. Eve’s current favourite toy to use in the bath is the Kurve by Hot Octopuss.

Using your vibrator on big furniture is better than on smaller furniture

I use vibrators myself a lot too and unlike Eve, I don’t use them in the bath that much. I use them on chairs and in my bed. Sometimes standing up too. The most important thing to do with vibrators is find a piece of furniture that won’t rattle like hell while you’re using it. For example, I find desk chairs are horrible for transferring the sound of vibrators. I live in an apartment, so I have to consider my downstairs and next door neighbours. If I sit on my desk chair and turn on a vibrator, that sound rattles down onto the floor and disturbs me.

In a big bed with lots of pillows on it etc, the vibrations get absorbed by the density of all of the furniture around. It’s also great to have things like shelves and tall furniture in your room because those kinds of things stop sound from bouncing off the walls and echoing. A room that echos transfers more noise, so it’s better to put things on and against your walls to stop the resonance of the room.

The importance of travel locks on vibrators

If you plan to travel with your vibrator or hide it, then travel locks are essential. Most of the good brands such as We-Vibe and Fun Factory have them but you should always check if a vibrator you want comes with a travel lock. A travel lock on a vibrator stops it from vibrating when the power button is accidentally pressed. It’s easy to turn them on by accident inside a suitcase. The travel locks are often activated by pressing a special combination of buttons. The same or another combination of buttons unlocks the vibrators so that you can use them again.

So make sure you get vibrators with travel locks. It’s an often overlooked but important detail!

6 – Where to hide your vibrators and dildos

Most vibrators my girlfriend owns tend to be on the medium-size end of the spectrum. The biggest kind she owns are rabbit vibrator styles such as the Happy Rabbit Thruster and the others that look like dildos (ie the Kurve vibrator I mentioned above). The rabbit and dildo style vibrators are unmistakably phallic. Almost all adults and teens will know what they are. Luckily, most are no longer than 7 – 9 inches long. Therefore even for larger vibrators, you can find many places to hide them.

double zip bag
Any bag with a double zip can be locked with a padlock.

If you think you have a good reason to own a toolbox, that’s a great place to keep a few dildos and vibrators. Get one that has holes in it for a padlock. Another good trick my girlfriend uses on business trips is to put her vibrators in a large makeup bag. Many of those have double zips on them that you can slip a small padlock into. Just be careful with those if you have very nosey house mates or parents, because those double zips usually open a bit. The best thing you could do if you go for this option is to hide your vibrators by double bagging them. Put them in a storage pouch, then put some stuff on top of them inside the makeup bag.

I say makeup bag but this is only the first thing my girlfriend thought of. You could just as easily use a backpack, a gym bag or any other kind of bag that has double zips on it. If it has double zips, you can put a padlock on it. Make sure the padlock is strong though. The tiny ones that go on suitcases are notorious for being easy to pull apart by force.

Again, if you buy from HappyBed and order with their Discreet Shipping Plus, you’ll then also have a cell-phone accessory box to hide your toy within.

Later on, I’ll mention some more creative hiding places. Click here to skip to that.

7 – How to hide a Fleshlight from your parents (or room mates)

Fleshlight Angela White sleeve
Imagine having to leave a Fleshlight sleeve out to dry for 24 hours or more… not great for privacy!

Whoa… slow down now soldier. Did you already buy your Fleshlight? Don’t you dare order a Fleshlight without knowing the amount of maintenance that those things need. A Fleshlight is a terrible choice if you need to hide your sex toy from the people you live with. This is because of the drying time required.

In order to hide your Fleshlight from your parents (or room mates), your first job is to discover a way of drying it without them knowing. Full sized Fleshlights are a NIGHTMARE to dry. If you wash one of those sleeves out, dab the outside with a towel and then put it back in the case to dry, you can get mould on your penis the next time you take it out. I’m not joking. I got balantis from a poorly dried Fleshlight once. Mould can grow in them if you don’t look after the sleeves properly. So before we talk about where to hide them, let’s talk about where you’ll dry them. Again though, I DO NOT recommend you order a Fleshlight if you also need to hide it.

Drying your Fleshlight in secrecy

So where do you dry your Fleshlight and how do you dry it? This is simple for me because I’m in my 30s and I live with my girlfriend, who is just as crazy about sex toys as I am. Usually I leave my Fleshlight sleeves drying on my desk and it doesn’t matter. Occasionally though, I have visitors and have to be more stealthy.

Fast Drying method 1 – cave man style

I’m a bit of a brute with my toys, so I just turn the ends of the Fleshlight sleeves inside out a bit and then mop up the water inside with a towel. The material is very flexible, so they will flip around if you give them a push. I’ve never had a Fleshlight tear on me but it could happen, so I can’t recommend you be as brutal with your pocket pussies as I am with mine. If you turn the more narrow end inside out a little at least, that will help you dry them a bit inside.

Fast Drying method 2 – hair dryer

Another good trick I often use is to blast those pocket pussy sleeves with a hair dryer to speed up the drying process. If you point the hair dryer at the inside of your Fleshlight, it won’t take as long to air dry after you’re done with it.

Now obviously for this drying method to work, you need to be able to have an excuse to use a loud hair dryer. If you start blasting your Fleshlight with a hair dryer at 2am and you have short hair, people are going to know you’re up to something. That’s why you should only use this method if you’re sure people won’t hear you. If they hear you, you might have to explain yourself.

Fast Drying method 3 – a drying stand

Some people use 3D printers to make Fleshlight drying stands and there are shops like Sleevomatic that sell third party drying stands. That’s great and I wish I owned one, yet for you this might not be an ideal option. If you own a drying stand, you’ll need to hide that too or else risk having to explain it to people you live with.

Also a quick mention, the fact that Fleshlight themselves doesn’t sell a drying stand is a such an outrage. I suspect that the reason Fleshlight doesn’t sell a drying stand could be for legal reasons but I might be wrong. So again, I do not recommend you buy a Fleshlight if you need to hide them. In fact… just buy a different brand. I reviewed a Tenga Flip Hole Black a while ago. Much easier to clean and HappyBed also sells a similar toy called the Tenga Flip Zero on their website.

Fast Drying method 4 – an electric fan

If you own an electric fan, that might help you dry your Fleshlight faster. Particularly if that fan can blow warm air. I’ve heard of some people who use their computer fans to dry their Fleshlights. While I can’t vouch for that, I admire the creativity. Anything you can do to speed up the drying time of a Fleshlight is good.

The Essential Drying method – leaving it out to dry

You should always try to use a fast drying method on your Fleshlight before you leave it out to dry. However even after using one of the methods above, you still have to leave it out to air dry. Putting your Fleshlight to dry in a drawer won’t do, it needs to be in the open air.

My recommendation is for you to put it behind something where it can’t be seen but where the air circulation is still good. Perhaps that will be behind a computer tower, guitar amplifier or even on top of your cupboard. Wherever you put it, it could need up to 24 hours or more to dry (depending on the temperature and climate).

Finishing drying your Fleshlight – corn starch

Repowdering is your grande finale of drying if you buy a Fleshlight. Repowdering is another reason to not buy a Fleshlight in the first place. Fleshlight sells renewing powder, which is actually 100% cornstarch. You absolutely need some of that stuff if you’re going to own a Fleshlight. You put the cornstarch on your Fleshlight after it dries, not before. If you put it on before, it will just clump up inside the sleeve and make it lumpy inside.

When you first get your Fleshlight, the material of it will feel very nice in your hands. After you wash it for the first time, it will feel all sticky and gross. This is because it needs a thin coating of cornstarch on it to help lubricate the material. I don’t mean literal lube… I mean the cornstarch helps the material of the Fleshlight glide over itself. You can’t not put it on your Fleshlight. They are intolerable to touch without the cornstarch.

The cornstarch is also important for drying, because it absorbs any remaining moisture inside your sleeve after you’ve taken the other steps above.

Again, I recommend you just get a Tenga Flip toy instead. They’re easier and dry faster. Plus I don’t need to put cornstarch on mine (yet you can if you want to ensure they dry efficiently).

Visit Fleshlight’s website

Where to hide your Fleshlight

hiding sex toys in toolbox
A toolbox is a great size to hide Fleshlights inside of. Plus, many have space for a padlock.

Fleshlights come in a few different sizes. If you bought the biggest version, they’ll be the most difficult to hide. The Go series, Flight series and especially the Quickshot are easier to hide because they’re smaller. I reviewed one of the Quickshots here.

As with the advice on vibrators above, a toolbox with a padlock is a good place to hide a Fleshlight. Apart from other big locked containers, you need to get creative and keep your eye on them. One useful thing to consider is hiding them in sleeping bags. I do this sometimes when I travel. Sleeping bags aren’t locked but they’re also not used very much in the average household either. If you hide your Fleshlight in something like that and make sure it’s somewhere where most people wouldn’t find it, you might get away with it. Just know though, a big flashlight with a pussy on the end of it isn’t the easiest thing to keep hidden. If someone finds it, they’re damn well going to know what it is. Which brings me to my next point…

8 – Choose a discreet looking sex toy

discrete sex toy love royal
The Love Royal by SelfDelve – a discreet sex toy.

Accidental discoveries do happen sometimes so it is best to prepare for them. The best way to minimise the embarrassment of someone finding your sex toy is to choose one that doesn’t look really obvious. For example, big penis shaped vibrators, sex dolls and Fleshlights are all sex toys that aren’t very subtle. Particularly embarrassing sex toys to have found by people are sex dolls and masturbators shaped like torsos and butts.

Luckily there are a lot of sex toys that are discreet. Here are links to some of the reviews Eve and I have written of discreet looking sex toys:

Discreet Penis Toys

Arcwave Ion

Tenga Flip Hole Black

Pulse Duo Lux by Hot Octopuss

Jett by Hot Octopuss

We-Vibe Verge Cock Ring

Discreet Clit/Vagina Toys

Womanizer Pro40

We-Vibe Melt

We-Vibe Moxie

We-Vibe Touch

Laska Love Not War

Love Royal Dildo

Obviously people might still realise that these objects are sex toys but at least these designs are FAR less embarrassing than others. Again, check HappyBed because they sell some of these toys and other interesting discreet designs.

9 – Getting creative with hiding places

Where you hide your sex toys will depend on what you have around you and available to you. As the police in Netflix crime documentaries often say, humans can be VERY creative when it comes to hiding places. I have some food for thought in this area, so here is a list of creative places I think would be interesting to consider if you need to hide your sex toys.

A toolbox with a padlock or a bag with a double zip & padlock

Already mentioned but I’m putting it here again in case you missed it. Some toolboxes have little holes in them where you can lock the lid closed using a padlock. You can use any bag that has a double zip in a similar way (just be sure that you protect anything inside one of those bags because often the zips part a little bit).

3.5 inch Hard Drive Enclosure

You can buy empty hard drive enclosures to make your own backup drive from old computer hard drives. An alternative way to use these is as storage containers for your bullet vibrator or cock ring. You won’t be able to fit much else than that in them but it’s interesting should you need to hide something small.

A PC tower case

You can fit quite a lot inside a PC tower case. If you have an old or broken computer lying around your home doing nothing, consider using it as a hiding place. So long as taking out the components doesn’t leave the case with holes, you can empty it out and store vibrators, Fleshlights and other toys in there instead.

A Hi-Fi Speaker

Another pair of old objects you might have lying around are old Hi-Fi speakers. The old kind that have holes in the back. So long as those holes are big enough, you could fit vibrators inside.

A hollowed out book

hollowed out book hide sex toys
A hollowed out book with the We-Vibe Melt and a cock ring inside.

Ah this is such an old trick that it makes me smile. What you do here is take an old boring hardcover book, glue all of the pages together into a block, then you hollow out the book. Books come in all sizes so you should be able to find one big enough for a vibrator. You can even find hollowed out books sold ready-made.

A locked filing cabinet

A lot of people have filing cabinets to keep important documents. Most cabinets like this have locks on them, which makes them great places to hide things.

Instrument cases

If you own a violin, guitar, keyboard or any other kind of large instrument then you might be able to hide sex toys inside the cases.

Inside clothes storage bags

Some suits and dresses come in storage bags that you use to hang them in your wardrobe. For my own suits I keep those bags and keep them in the wardrobe. You could easily hide a few sex toys in such bags. If yours don’t close at the bottom then you should modify them with tape or stitching.

Inside a pillow case between two pillows

Obviously you’d need to be careful with this one but if you can get a pillow case to hold two pillows, you could potentially hide sex toys between them inside that pillow case. There are also ‘pillow case safes’ for sale online.

Inside a large sunglasses case

sunglasses case sex toy hide

You might be able to fit smaller sex toys like this 50 Shades Egg Vibrator inside large sunglasses boxes. Cases for sunglasses tend to be quite big and they make great inconspicuous hiding places.

10 – Get a specialised sex toy storage box

Online you can find many small secret boxes to hide your sex toys. Most of them are too small for me personally to be interested in them (Eve and I own a lot of toys). Some of these small hiding boxes are very useful though and come with built in USB hubs so that you can charge your toys in plain sight without anyone being able to see inside.

As I mentioned previously though, you should always buy vibrators that come with travel locks. If you choose to leave your vibrator charging locked inside one of the sex toy hiding boxes, they might still turn on if someone steps on the case or shakes it by accident.

I am personally less enthusiastic about solutions like this because not only is the space inside such boxes very limited but also, I think a lot of them look kind of obvious anyway. They’re great if you just have one or two vibrators to hide… but personally I prefer using the more DIY methods I mentioned in section 9.

11 – Bonus section: Hiding lube and cum stains!

Alright then, you’re almost ready for top secret, sexy love affairs with your sex toys. Just one more thing, beware of lube and cum stains!

If you use anal toys or masturbators in particular, you’ll need to be using a lot of lube. Many times, that lube will be dripping onto the floor, chair or the bedsheets that you are sitting on. It’s best therefore to use an old towel or a used piece of clothing to lay down first. I don’t need to hide my lube stains but I prefer not having them all over the house, so I always put down one or two towels whenever I use prostate toys and masturbators.

Cum stains can be very obvious too. Don’t follow the guidance of the movie ‘American Pie’… you SHOULD NOT use your socks as masturbators. They will get smelly and crusty. If you aren’t the one washing your socks after that then know that whoever does wash them WILL know what you’ve been up to. It’s the same for climaxing into dustbins or the tissues that you leave in them. If you leave cum in enclosed spaces, it has a distinctive smell. You might not realise but people can guess what the weird smell is. Always wash away your cum as best as possible and put any cum stained sheets straight into the washing machine. Even better idea, use condoms. That way when you’re done, you just take the condom off, tie it up, wrap it in some tissue and throw it away… easy.

Again I want to say a big thank you to HappyBed for sponsoring this article on how to get and hide sex toys! If you are looking for the most private way to get your sex toys delivered to your hours, you need to check out their ‘Discreet Shipping Plus’ option. It is the most private way to order sex toys on the internet and in my opinion is also worth getting just so you have the cell-phone charging accessory box to continue hiding your sex toy inside of.

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