In this guide to prostate massage, I’m going to tell you how you can achieve hands-free prostate orgasms. I will also give you a list of the best prostate massagers and P Spot Vibrators that I have personally tried. I’m a sex toy reviewer and love prostate massage, so I have tested many a P Spot Toy and know what I’m talking about.
Table Of Contents
Who can use P Spot Massagers?
If you have a penis, you also have a prostate gland. No matter your sexual orientation, if you have a prostate gland, you should stimulate it!
Many people are put off by the idea of anal play because there are long held prejudices that still exist in the straight community. If your question is relating to that, then absolutely don’t worry about it. Everybody can and should enjoy prostate massage. If you have a prostate gland, then pleasuring it is kind of the point!
The prostate is involved every time you orgasm, whether or not you are stimulating it directly. We are very lucky that we can access the prostate gland at all. Therefore don’t be shy about where it is located. You are able to access the prostate gland through your anus. If you never explore that part of your body then you really are missing out.
By stimulating the prostate gland through your anus, you are able to max out the amount of pleasure available to you. Stimulating the P Spot directly can give insanely powerful orgasms. So if you haven’t already tried stimulating the prostate, start trying!
Where is the P Spot?
To find the P Spot, you need only pry a few inches into your anus. It is near the upper wall of your anus (the wall nearest your stomach). So when feeling in that spot you should feel a small bump. It isn’t quite as large as a ping-pong ball for me but it isn’t much smaller either. Hitting the P Spot is actually fairely easy, you just need to know roughly where to press.
To explain further how to find the P Spot, the following diagram should help.
P Spot Diagram
Many people don’t know precisely where the P Spot is. Here is a diagram of where the prostate gland is. The apple of eden marks the spot! Also note the direction I have drawn for the sperm. They come up out of the testicles, around and through the prostate gland before exiting through the penis. I like to call this the sperm roller-coaster.
This ‘sperm roller coaster’ explains why the prostate gland is so integral to orgasms. It is a major part of the process. The prostate also adds up to 30% of the fluid that makes up semen. Accessing the P Spot via the anus allows you to feel some of the contractions you only usually feel during climax. In order to have a full P Spot Orgasm, it takes some extra work. I’ll explain more below in my step-by-step guide to prostate massage.
Wikipedia actually has a great page of scientific information on the prostate gland. You’ll also find more diagrams there. Livescience also has an easy to understand article on the function of the prostate gland (as well as what can go wrong with it).
Best Prostate Massagers & Vibrators
Now it’s time for a list of my top rated P Spot Massagers! I have tested many P Spot toys on this website and while most of them have been very good, some are better than others. This list will have prostate toys that vibrate, rotate and others that don’t move at all.
Prostate toys can be made out of several different materials. The most common material is silicone. I really enjoy silicone prostate toys because most of them offer less resistance than pure metal, plastic or glass toys. All of the toys on this website are body-safe. If you shop for toys that I didn’t recommend you need to make sure that they don’t contain phthalates or other toxic chemicals. It is surprising how many toys are still not body-safe.
We-Vibe Vector – Best P Spot Massager
The Vector by We-Vibe is one of the few sex toys on my website to get 10 / 10 as a score. In my opinion it really is a perfect prostate toy. You can use it during masturbation, during sex and it can be remote controlled. The girth of the toy is thick enough without it causing discomfort. The vibrations from the toy are phenomenally good. Plus, this is one of the few toys that aren’t black. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s more on the expensive side but totally worth it.
Desire Luxury P Spot Vibrator by Lovehoney
After the Vector, the Desire P Spot Massager by Lovehoney is my second favourite. It is girthy, so not so suitable for beginners but for intermediate users this is a really pleasurable toy. The vibrations are strong, the patterns somewhat interesting and best of all, it’s very affordable. If you think you can handle the extra girth, I recommend this P Spot Vibrator to anyone who is on a budget.
Nexus Revo Stealth
The Revo Stealth is a more recent addition to my toy box. It isn’t a whole lot different to the more thin Revo Slim that I began with, however it is more filling. The girth of this toy is very manageable. Like all prostate toys in the Revo range, the tip of it rotates and the body vibrates. Making it a very interesting prostate toy. My one criticism of it is that it isn’t hook shaped enough for my liking so doesn’t press my prostate quite as much as others.
The Nexus Sceptre is a rotational prostate toy. It doesn’t vibrate at all. It is more on the girthy side but if you can handle it then it is a very delicious toy to be using. It has several rotation modes and is also quite ergonomic due to its longer handle.
Aneros Helix, Progasm or Eupho
Aneros is a brand famous for its prostate massagers. Most of them don’t vibrate, so they are perfect for people who want to explore what their own muscles can do with a prostate toy. I have only tried the advanced toy (the Eupho). I wasn’t amazed by the Eupho but after seeing the Helix and Progasm in a shop, I believe I would enjoy those toys more. The Helix would be more for beginners and the Progasm more for intermediate users, as outlined on the Aneros website.
Falex by Rocks-Off (Advanced Users Only)
Wow this is a girthy toy. You should only buy this if you are a very advanced user of prostate and anal toys. It doesn’t look like most prostate toys and would perhaps be better described as an anal vibrator. It is very thick, at least as much as some penises are. So again, only use this if you know you can handle it.
The vibrations of the Falex are very powerful, which is why I list it on this page. I also know that some of you are looking for a bigger novelty so to speak, which is another reason I list it here. It isn’t my favourite prostate toy but it certainly deserves to be on this list.
Full Review Coming Soon!
Best P Spot Massagers for Beginners
If you are a total beginner to prostate play then some of the prostate toys I listed above will be too big or powerful for you. I don’t want you to buy a toy that will cause you pain or discomfort, so here is another list of toys that in my opinion are perfect for beginners to prostate play.
Nexus Revo Slim
The Nexus Revo slim is the first prostate toy that I ever owned. It is very similar to the Revo Stealth that I recommended above. The main difference with this toy is that it isn’t as thick. Its slim profile means that the Nexus Revo Slim is one of the easiest vibrating prostate toys to insert. I don’t use this toy anymore because I don’t find it thick enough to press all my buttons. As a beginner however, this toy was perfect.
Already mentioned above, the Aneros Helix is a non vibrating prostate massager. It is specifically designed for novices at prostate massage. Intermediate and advanced users can enjoy it as well but its main selling point is that it is easy for non-experts to use. This is the most affordable toy on this list.
I mentioned the Vector by We-Vibe above and hesitated to include it again here. It is certainly a more luxury prostate toy that can please even the most advanced users. It does have a slightly larger girth than the Nexus Revo Slim yet I think most people will be able to handle it without too much discomfort. It’s my favourite P Spot Massager, so if you can use it then go for it.
What do prostate orgasms feel like?
Some people don’t know that they can orgasm purely from prostate stimulation. The build up is often slower and more subtle a feeling. Prostate stimulation feels like the tension that builds up behind your penis and testicles just before you orgasm. It isn’t the same feeling as when you feel an orgasm building through the tip of your penis but it feels equally as good (if not better).
Prostate Orgasms are unique
How do you know when you achieve prostate orgasm? Trust me, you will know. These supernova level orgasms make me feel like my brain has spun backwards. Just like when you had your first ever orgasm, the feeling is unforgettable. Your first prostate orgasm may take a while to occur (see below) but you will know what it is when it happens.
Prostate orgasms feel unique when compared with the usual orgasms that you are used to. Even partial prostate climaxes (when you stimulate both your penis and prostate simultaneously) feel unique. The easiest way to discover a little about what a p spot orgasm feels like is to use a beginner’s prostate toy and masturbate while using it. You will usually notice an extra sensation deep inside your body, right behind the groin. That is sort of what a prostate orgasm feels like. When you achieve a full prostate climax (without penis stimulation), the intensity of this sensation will be multiplied.
It may take a long time to achieve prostate orgasm
The truth is, it will probably take you a long time to be able to climax from prostate massage alone. Most of you aren’t at all used to the sensation and by the time you try it, you have already taught your bodies what masturbation “should” feel like. So long as you’re patient and use beginner toys / techniques, you will still find it pleasurable. It is likely that you will need to practice for quite some time before you have a true hands free orgasm however.
When you DO have a prostate orgasm, it will be worth the wait! Prostate orgasms are incredibly powerful and it is one of the main ways that you too can achieve multiple-orgasms. The build up of prostate climax is slower than with penis climax but the resulting orgasms are truly immense.
To jump straight to my guide to prostate massage, click here.
You don’t need a full prostate orgasm to enjoy P Spot Massage
You don’t have to have a full hands free prostate orgasm to enjoy prostate massage. Even if you masturbate your penis while using a prostate toy, the resulting orgasm will still be better. Orgasms while using prostate toys are best described as being two-fold. You have your usual intense feeling all along the penis and around your groin. The difference is that if you are stimulating your prostate then you will also get an intense sensation from deep inside your groin too.
So even if you find it difficult to have a full prostate orgasm, you will still enjoy prostate stimulation while you masturbate normally.
Should you touch your penis during a P Spot Massage?
I know how tempting it is to masturbate your penis while stimulating the prostate. To be honest that’s what I end up doing most times I use a prostate massager. The temptation is too much! Just realise though that if you always finish by touching your penis during a P spot massage, you will likely never have a full hands free prostate orgasm.
The trick is to dedicate at least some masturbation sessions to prostate massage alone. It will sometimes be frustrating but eventually your patience will pay off with a huge orgasm.
Think about it another way. When most people first begin masturbating their penis, they don’t realise that it can finish in orgasm. Many people began masturbating quite some time before they were first surprised by an orgasm. I remember my first climax like it was yesterday. It shocked the hell out of me but felt so damn good. That’s a little bit what prostate massage is like. You should do it just to enjoy the journey until the day you arrive at full P spot orgasm.
Is Prostate Massage Messy?
You’ll be forgiven for assuming that anal play can be messy. The truth is, if your bowels are empty and you have good hygiene then there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. I don’t recommend using anal douches because they can upset your butt and even cause infections.
What I always do is take a shower right before I practice prostate massage. That way, I never have problems. I also put down a used towel or used piece of clothing when I use a prostate toy, to deal with lube etc.
You’ll probably feel like you’re about to poop the first time you take out an anal toy like a prostate massager. Rest assured, while it does happen it is almost always just the toy coming out.
The well known prostate massager brand Aneros make many of their toys in white. That’s because there is rarely a problem with ‘mess’.
Guide to Prostate Massage (my method)
This is my guide to prostate massage! If you follow the instructions here you may be able to achieve prostate orgasm. As I mention throughout though, it can take some time to get there. It took me an entire year to begin having them.
When I first bought a prostate massager, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I hadn’t tried stimulating the prostate with my fingers before so the feeling was new to me. At least a year went by before I actually achieved a full, hands-free prostate orgasm. Even before I achieved full prostate climax, I still totally enjoyed using p spot massagers.
Step 1 – Find a relaxing place to masturbate
The most important thing I can tell you is to be patient and practice relaxation. If you are in a rush or get frustrated easily then you will never succeed. I know some of you will roll your eyes at this but you really need to find ways to relax in order to achieve climax during P Spot massage.
A way of inspiring relaxation is to find a place to practice P Spot massage where you feel totally at ease. For me, that’s my bed or my sofa. I lay out a towel wherever I am and then lie back on that while I have my fun.
Step 2 – Use deep breathing techniques
A technique I found that works very well is deep breathing. The kind of breathing people do during meditation. By breathing slowly and deeply, you can consciously force some areas of your body to release tension. It is a scientific fact that many meditation experts talk about. Deep breathing equals less tension.
If you already practice mindfulness or yoga then your discipline for these two activities may help you during prostate massage. I personally have never tried yoga but I used to use mindfulness meditation quite a lot in my everyday life. Mindfulness is a form of meditation. You don’t have to use it in order to relax but it still helps a lot. Mindfulness and other forms of meditation help empty your mind, which is very good for any kind of massage (P Spot included).
Step 3 – Use a P Spot toy rather than fingers
Later on down this page, I list my top rated P Spot Massagers. Those are the best prostate toys on this website and in my opinion they will help you with prostate massage.
Some people use their fingers to attempt prostate massage. If you too try that then make sure you thoroughly clean your hands first and trim your fingernails. If you don’t then you may cause yourself injury or introduce infections. I don’t actually recommend beginning with your fingers because toys are so much more helpful. There’s nothing inherently wrong with using your fingers to do it but it requires more patience in my experience.
I talk a little more below about what makes a good beginner prostate toy. Basically it should be more on the small and thin side. You can progress to bigger toys as you get used to anal play.
Step 4 – Don’t just rely on the vibrations etc, use your anal muscles
Whenever you practice prostate massage, you should totally use your sphincter and anal muscles to contract around the toy you use and move it around. When you use your muscles, you train them to stimulate your prostate. I even enjoy contracting my muscles when I have nothing in my butt at all. Now that my body knows how to stimulate the prostate gland, I am able to stimulate it with my muscles alone. You’ll know what I mean when you get there!
Vibrating and rotating prostate toys are great. They can add a lot of extra sensation to P Spot massage, so I recommend them. However, you shouldn’t always use vibration to stimulate the prostate. It is important to use your muscles to stimulate the prostate.
Think of it the following way. If you only ever stimulated your penis using a vibrator, you’d be missing out right? It’s the same with prostate massage. Part of the pleasure comes from discovering your unique P Spot map. Everybody is different, which is why you need to use your muscles to discover your own body.
Step 5 – Use short, rapid muscle contractions as well as long slow contractions
I think most people know how to contract their butt muscles and sphincter. When you use a prostate toy, contracting your muscles amplifies the sensation you’d usually get by tensing them.
Think about how a vibrator works. Most vibrators have several different modes. Some modes have constant vibration speeds and others have patterns. That is kind of how you should use your muscles to contract around your prostate toy. You should use your muscles to create patterns of contraction while you use the toy. This will help you stimulate the prostate and find a rhythm that works well for you.
You can even practice these contractions without a toy. As I mentioned above, it is possible to get a pleasurable sensation from contracting your anal muscles without any toy at all. It is possible however that you will need a toy to discover these sensations in the first place.
Step 6 – Don’t touch your penis!
Yeah, yeah. I remember what I said above. I too lose myself to temptation and often masturbate my penis during prostate massage. However I still have sessions where I don’t touch my penis at all.
I won’t go into this in too much depth here because I already wrote earlier about it. Basically, if you always masturbate both your penis and prostate, you won’t have a full P Spot climax. You’ll only ever have a partial one.
Step 7 – Focus on the sensation rather than purely on fantasies
I think for many people, the idea of not using fantasies during masturbation is strange. I’m actually a big advocate of using fantasies during masturbation. During prostate massage it shouldn’t hurt too much to use a little fantasy, yet you should try to focus more on the sensation of the massage itself. If you haven’t had a full prostate climax before then your body will be unfamiliar with how it works.
You should attempt to clear your mind and focus on what it feels like to have something stimulating your prostate. Again, a little fantasy won’t hurt. Just don’t let your fantasy drive you into such an impatient frenzy that you practically have to masturbate your penis.
Step 8 – Try different positions
The first time I had a P Spot orgasm was when I was sitting back on some pillows with my legs apart. I think most people just lie down on their backs. If whatever position you use most regularly for P Spot massage doesn’t work, then you should change things up.
It could be that sitting back partially, using a toy in doggy style etc could work better for your body. You could even try using the toy while in the shower or bath. I don’t personally have a bath but would love to use one for prostate massage. As I already mentioned, relaxation important and taking a warm bath is certainly relaxing!
Step 9 – Don’t just stop at the first P Spot Orgasm, go for multi-climax!
Prostate orgasm doesn’t work in the same way as a penis orgasm does. If you have a P Spot climax, you can and should try to have more. Some prostate experts can have 10 or more orgasms all during one session. That’s why it is such a sought after thing to learn prostate massage.
Some of your orgasms will be small and others large. Personally I can only achieve two or three prostate orgasms within one session. After that I begin to need a rest.
Step 10 – After your prostate climax, avoid masturbating normally
Again, your body needs to get used to a totally different form of masturbation here. It is best to avoid masturbating your penis directly after climaxing via the prostate. The after-glow of a P Spot climax is wonderful and you shouldn’t steal the thunder with a penis masturbation session. Sure, I do masturbate my penis after sessions sometimes. The temptation is strong. Just know that it isn’t advised.
Bonus tip – Use your mind, not porn during P Spot Massage
I don’t believe porn is good for masturbation at the best of times. Here I recommend not using porn purely because it doesn’t work well with prostate play. Browsing porn websites inspires a kind of frenzy. This frenzy can work for penis masturbation because you can masturbate the penis more aggressively than you can the prostate.
As I already mentioned, prostate massage is a slow build up. It requires patience, relaxation and time. You’re better off without porn in this case because with it, you won’t be able to relax as efficiently.