I’m a cis male sex toy reviewer and I’ve been doing this for long enough to have acquired way more sex toys than anyone should own. Penis and prostate toys are those that I specialise in, however there is currently a huge problem with penis sex toy design. Even the best sex toy manufacturers are making a design choice that makes their penis toys useless to people like me. Circumference / diameter is a blind spot almost every penis toy I try has, let’s dive deeper.
Enclosed penis toy designs
Enclosed penis toys are those that wrap around the penis without any break in the material. I’m using this term to refer to masturbators and cock rings that wrap around the circumference of the entire penis and also vibrators that cover the whole glans.
If a penis toy is enclosed, it means that the diameter of the inner canal or ring is limited in some way. Toy designers sometimes believe that their masturbators are one-size-fits all but they’re not. TPE, silicone and cyber-skin materials can only stretch so far and all of them have different densities. Just because a material can stretch, doesn’t mean it will be comfortable. I’ve had many one-size-fits all masturbators and many of them feel bad because they’re too tight.
When any toy manufacturer makes an enclosed penis design, they should always put it under stress tests and figure out the real-world penis sizes that are compatible with the toys. Writing the unstretched diameter of the inner canal is not enough… it means nothing in the real world. Most manufacturers don’t even bother writing the internal canal diameter or the outer diameter of the toy.
Let me make this clear… if toy companies make a “one-size-fits-all” penis toy design and it doesn’t fit onto the person who buys it, that person will then think “well this company sucks”. I’d have to agree with them that this blindspot does suck. In fact it doesn’t just suck, it’s unacceptable.
Penis toy manufacturers ALL need to do better with internal measurements
It is extremely rare that I find sex toy manufacturers that consistently list the internal measurements of all the penis toys they make. Most toy manufacturers don’t list the internal measurements at all and those that do only let consumers know the unstretched diameter. Some manufacturers even have incorrect or misleading measurements.
Everyone has different penis sizes. Those with long penises may have a small girth and those with shorter penises may have a big girth. There is no one-size-fits-all. It is particularly difficult for people with larger penis girths to find sex toys that are loose enough.
One thing most of the biggest sex toy manufacturers have in common is that several of their penis sex toys have limited size diameters that prevent anyone above the accepted average penis size from using their toys. In a few cases, big sex toy companies have this limitation across their entire range of sex toys. I’m not talking about small indie toy makers or budget ranges… I’m talking about the big luxury brands. Almost all of them have penis toys that have girth limitations.
Selling penis sex toys that are too tight without warning is dangerous
The skin on the penis is quite delicate. If someone with an above average penis girth tries to use a very tight toy, the skin on their penis can chaf, tear and scar. This scarring can in the very worst cases lead to phimosis, which is a medical condition that causes the foreskin to be too tight. If phimosis occurs, balantis can become a recurrent and chronic problem (it’s a nasty yeast infection of the penis).
Even for those that are uncircumcised, tight toys are a danger. Skin chaffing, tearing etc can happen even to the shaft. However with cock rings, the problem is far more serious. If someone buys a cock ring that is too tight for them, they can do themselves permanent nerve damage. Sex bloggers like me recommend only keeping cock rings on for a maximum of 20 minutes but most consumers are unaware that there could be a danger. I’ve read several sad accounts of people doing serious and permanent harm to their penises with cock rings that are too tight.
Sex toy manufacturers that are listing the unstretched internal diameter of their silicone cock rings / sleeves aren’t doing enough. All silicone has different densities. “Soft”, “medium” and “tough” silicone mean nothing to consumers. The only way to ensure your rings / sleeves are being put on the right penises is by doing better research and development.
Open ring penis sex toy design
Sex toys that don’t completely wrap around the penis tend to be less problematic with diameter but they still aren’t immune from problems. Occasionally I try penis toys of this design that press into my penis too much or squeeze it too hard. It’s another case where diameter has not been considered enough by the manufacturer.
Evidently though, open ring penis toy design is usually my personal favourite because I almost never have any trouble with those designs.
Average erection diameter… what is average?
Average penis size doesn’t interest me and I don’t actually think that it’s a healthy fixation to have. Evidently though, I have to write about the sizes that most manufacturers are aiming for. I’m not trying to call anything below or above average… I’m trying to avoid the one-size-fits-all assumption. My main point with what I’m about to explore is that comparative language and the reliance on language like “average, big and small” is harmful and regressive.
Many manufacturers base the diameter of their toys on what they understand to be the average diameter of erections. Most websites you look at will tell you that the average penis circumference is between 4.5 and 5 inches. That’s the size that most penis sex toys fit. I don’t believe that this fixation on what is average is helping us at all and I think it’s holding back toy design.
For one thing, circumference only tells us part of the story. Two penises with the same circumference may look quite different to one another. One may be wider than it is high or vice-versa. Only callipers can really measure diameter and most people don’t have those. I don’t think many people actually know the size of their penis. I certainly didn’t have to think about it until I started buying sex toys.
Secondly, to accept the “average penis size” mentality, we have to accept that there is a worldwide average that all people need to be measured off and that the studies done don’t have limitations. It’s an unhealthy fixation to obsess over what size penis is average and what sizes aren’t.
My goal isn’t to disprove studies or call anyone bigger or smaller than average. The goal here is to say… one-size-fits-all isn’t the best mentality to have when designing. Even if the ‘losers’ in one-size-fits-all design represent only 10% of the total (which I find unlikely) – that’s still MILLIONS and millions of people.
I’m 6.3 inches in circumference. I don’t care either way what my size means but the result is that my penis isn’t fully compatible with a lot of the penis sex toys I receive. The problem is… I’m also a sex toy reviewer and I’m influencing other people’s judgements on toys. The way I choose to think about my size is based on my own experiences and I would prefer not to refer to my size in terms of any average. It is unhelpful and that’s what I would like to avoid when we talk of penis sex toys.
I would love it if one day we have a system as inoffensive as the cup size system used for bra sizes. The best solution though is to always stick to measurements and avoid the “average penis size” conundrum altogether. With penis sex toys, we are currently forcing people to think “ok this toy is for the average penis… now I just need to figure out if I’m average”. It’s unhealthy and it’s so inaccurate to document toys in that way. We need real measurements and real size guidelines to avoid continually asking people to compare themselves to a global average that may not even be 100% correct.
The first few times I was sent toys that were too small for me… I laughed it off. Now though, it’s just annoying. The more penis sex toys I receive that are too small, the more aware I am how much of a problem this is. Almost every sex toy manufacturer is making toys that are too small without giving people like me any warning.
I’m being forced to compare size with my readers…
It’s also a problem for the way I’m recommending these toys. It is so awkward to recommend a sex toy to someone by saying “yeah, so I’m too big for this toy BUT if you’re what this company considers average or small….. you’ll be fine”. Literally nobody wants to be comparing their dick to mine while researching sex toys and absolutely no-one wants me to be suggesting that they’re average or small. Yet these are the ridiculous things that I’m having to do almost every time I review a penis toy.
The simple solution is for toy manufacturers to document their toys more thoroughly. When people buy a penis sex toy, they need to know two technical things… whether it will fit their length and girth. What I’d love to see is actual guidelines with penis toys. Not just basic measurements but actual guidelines on what penis sizes can hope to fit into the toys.
This isn’t incompatibility, it’s a blind spot
There are lots of people with the same size erection circumference as me and others who are even larger. Sex toy companies aren’t doing enough for us.
The sex toy industry has moved a lot in the past 10 years and such good developments have been made in penis and prostate toys. Penis sex toys still have this problem of diameter though.
Before, I used to say that it was my penis at fault in all of this and it is me who should be going out of my way to find toys that are suitable for my size. Not anymore. From now on, I will consider tight penis sex toys as flawed designs, particularly if those toys weren’t advertised with specific measurements.
Sex toy manufacturers need to make more of an effort for the varied penis circumferences that their toys are being used on. Designs are needed that will be suitable for a wider range of sizes. It needn’t be complicated. Sometimes all that is needed are additional size options.
What I’m personally sick of doing is forcing myself to find a way to use a toy, usually by forcing myself in with condoms and lube. Nowadays I usually ask sex toy companies before they send me toys about the diameters just to be sure I’ll fit. Tight toys still slip through the net regularly though and frankly… I shouldn’t have to ask about this sizing information. If I have to ask, it’s because there is a problem with the company’s documentation.
Almost nobody is doing this right.
If you happen to be a manufacturer reading this and you don’t adapt, you risk losing out to competitors who do. It’s time to step up a gear and make penis sex toys better. List girth compatibility, release additional sizes or make designs that cover more range. The fixation on average penis size is unhelpful and it’s holding your designs back.
Follow Adam Rouge:
2 Comments
This is such a great article! I have a girth of 6.5 inches and have wasted more than $500 trying to find one that is loose enough that it doesn’t irritate my penis. So far I have found nothing 🙁 And this is really sad. And it’s not just us as you said, it’s MILLIONS of men. It really is mind-blowing that the market for sex toys for men with big girth is untapped. I was hoping that you might have some recommendations here… Perhaps there just isn’t anything. That’s depressing. I just wrote a message to Fleshlight asking what the largest girth opening they have. They probably won’t reply and just shrug it off. These companies are missing out on a HUGE opportunity, pardon the pun. I am still in search for the perfect sex toy that won’t strangle my dick. Perhaps I will need to see what it would take to create such a toy and open my own business for guys like us. Appreciate the excellent article, and I am at least happy to know that I am not alone.
My girth is only 11cm, and 6″ long on a good day so it’s hard to find a sextoy that feels tight..but I use sleeves in a case that uses suction to maintain the tightness feels.
I get most of my things from temu, ngl, they (mostly) all feel so good!